Therapy for Breakups and Divorce in NYC
Stop the overthinking and start trusting yourself again
Whether you're ending a marriage, can't stop replaying your breakup, or paralyzed trying to decide if you should leave—therapy for breakups and divorce helps you navigate the decision to stay or go, process the end of your relationship, and stop the rumination keeping you stuck.
We work with clients throughout New York City to help you understand your patterns and finally trust yourself again, with virtual therapy across New York State and in person sessions in Midtown Manhattan.
You have everything together—except your relationship.
You're successful. Respected. You've built a career, a life in New York City that looks impressive from the outside. You know how to problem-solve, execute, get things done. But when it comes to your relationship? You're completely unmoored right now, and that feels really uncomfortable… downright destabilizing.
Maybe you're lying awake at 3am wondering if you should end your marriage—running through the same mental pros and cons list you've been making for months, terrified of making the wrong choice. Or maybe the breakup already happened, and you can't stop replaying it, second-guessing everything, wondering if you gave up too easily or stayed too long. Either way, you can't stop checking your ex's Instagram or dissolving into anxiety every time your partner seems distant.
You've tried to think your way through this. You've read articles about attachment styles at 2am and thought "that's me"—but ultimately, knowing you're anxiously attached hasn't actually helped you stop spiraling. The truth is, you can't logic your way out of patterns that were formed long before you even understood what a relationship was supposed to look like. And trying to manage this alone—while also showing up at work, maintaining friendships, keeping it together on the surface—is exhausting you.
Does this sound familiar?
You're constantly overthinking and second-guessing yourself—wondering if you should stay in your relationship/marriage or leave
Every disagreement feels like the beginning of the end
The infidelity happened and now you're stuck: can you rebuild trust or is it time to let go?
You're post-breakup or post-divorce but still spiraling—replaying what went wrong, feeling overwhelmed emotionally, and second-guessing if you made the right choice
You feel anxious and insecure in your relationship, walking on eggshells, never really feeling secure
You're navigating divorce and the grief, anger, and uncertainty feel overwhelming
You lose yourself in relationships—saying yes when you mean no, always prioritizing their needs over yours
If this resonates, you don’t have to navigate this all on your own.
And we’re glad you found your way here.
Why you're still stuck (and why the usual advice isn't working)
You've probably tried everything people tell you to do after a breakup or while considering divorce. Talk to friends. Make pros and cons lists. Journal. Throw yourself into work. Try dating again. Read books about infidelity or attachment styles.
And yet—you're still ruminating. Still paralyzed trying to decide whether to stay or go. Still doubting yourself. Still unable to move forward.
Here's what's actually keeping you stuck:
You're trying to logic your way out of something happening in your nervous system. Relationship anxiety, divorce indecision, and breakup rumination aren't logic problems. You can know intellectually that you deserve better or that staying isn't working—and still feel terror at the thought of being alone. That's because the anxiety lives in your body, not your rational brain. No amount of pros and cons lists will regulate a dysregulated nervous system.
The overthinking is protecting you from feeling something scarier. Your brain would rather obsess over "should I file for divorce?" or "what if I reach out one more time?" than sit with what's actually underneath: fear of starting over, terror that you're unlovable, shame about your marriage ending, grief over losing the life you built together.
You learned early that conflict means the relationship is over. If you grew up watching fights lead to the silent treatment, emotional withdrawal, or someone leaving—your nervous system learned that disagreement is dangerous. Now every conflict in your marriage feels like it could be the final straw. So you make yourself small, avoid hard conversations, suppress your needs. And you stay stuck—either in an unfulfilling relationship or in endless rumination after it ends.
You don't trust yourself because you've been overriding your gut for years. Maybe you ignored red flags early in the relationship. Maybe you've stayed far longer than you should have because leaving felt impossible. Maybe you've been so focused on keeping the peace that you don't even know what you actually want anymore. When you can't trust your instincts, every decision—whether to work on the marriage, file for divorce, or give your ex another chance—feels paralyzing.
Your attachment wounds are running the show. If you struggle with anxious attachment or relationship anxiety, breakups and divorce trigger your system into crisis mode. The rumination, the need for reassurance, the inability to let go—these aren't character flaws. They're your attachment system responding to perceived abandonment the way it learned to when you were young.
This is why therapy for breakups and divorce in NYC goes deeper than standard relationship advice.
The work is about understanding why your brain does this, learning to regulate your nervous system, and building the self-trust that makes it possible to actually move forward—whether that means repairing your marriage, navigating divorce with clarity, or finally letting go of a relationship that's over.
How therapy for breakups and divorce can help
Our team specializes in breakup and divorce therapy in NYC, using psychodynamic therapy, CBT/DBT, EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), and narrative work to help you stop the rumination, understand your attachment patterns, and build the self trust to make decisions and actually stick with them.
Here's how we work with you:
We help you understand where your patterns came from. Using psychodynamic therapy, we explore how your early experiences with family and caregivers shaped the way you handle conflict, intimacy, and loss. Not to blame anyone, but to help you see why you do what you do in relationships—why you make yourself small, why certain conflicts feel unbearable, why the thought of being alone sends you into panic. Understanding these patterns is the first step to changing them.
We teach you to regulate your nervous system, not just your thoughts. Breakup anxiety and divorce indecision live in your body, not just your mind. Using EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and DBT, we help you learn to notice when your nervous system is activated, ground yourself in the present moment, and soothe yourself without needing constant reassurance from your partner (or ex). This is how you start feeling secure in yourself, not just secure when someone else validates you.
We work directly with the rumination and catastrophizing. If you're stuck in mental loops—replaying conversations, obsessing over whether you made the right choice, spiraling about what their Instagram post means—we address that using CBT tools. You'll learn to recognize when you're ruminating, understand what the overthinking is protecting you from, and develop skills to redirect yourself without judgment. The goal isn't to never think about your ex or your marriage—it's to stop letting those thoughts control your entire day.
We help you get clarity on whether to stay or go. If you're considering divorce or wondering whether to end your relationship, we won't tell you what to do. Instead, we help you distinguish between anxiety coming from your attachment wounds versus anxiety telling you something important about the relationship itself. We explore what patterns are playing out, whether they're fixable, and what staying or leaving would actually mean for you.
We use narrative work to help you make sense of your story. Breakups and divorce can feel chaotic and senseless. Using narrative therapy, we help you understand the arc of your relationship—what drew you together, what worked, what didn't, and what this ending means in the larger context of your life. This isn't about creating a neat story where everything happens for a reason. It's about making enough sense of what happened that you can move forward without getting stuck in the confusion.
Sound like what you’re looking for?
Meet Our Team!
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Julie Newman
LMHC | Founder & Therapist
Specializes in anxiety, relationships, and attachment patterns using psychodynamic therapy, CBT, and DBT -
Amanda Fogel
MHC-LP | Associate Therapist
Specializes in relationship anxiety, OCD, career stress, and life transitions with a warm, collaborative approach
When breakups and divorce intersect with other life challenges
Breakups and divorce usually don't happen in isolation. Often they're compounded by other stressors that make everything feel even more overwhelming.
Maybe you're also dealing with career stress or burnout, and the relationship instability is the thing pushing you over the edge. Maybe you're managing anxiety or depression that gets worse when your relationship feels uncertain or your marriage is ending. Maybe you recently moved to New York City and this relationship was your main source of stability in a new place. Maybe you're navigating fertility or timeline anxiety and the breakup or divorce means grieving not just the person but the entire timeline and future you imagined—the family you thought you'd build together, or even the breakup of the one you already started building together and navigating the fallout with children and loved ones.
If your breakup or divorce is intersecting with other major life challenges, the overwhelm can feel impossible to manage. You might be struggling with executive dysfunction—unable to focus at work, neglecting basic tasks, feeling stuck in a freeze response. You might be isolating from friends because you don't want to let them in on how bad it actually feels. You might be going through the motions at your job but feeling completely disconnected from your life.
This is where therapy for breakups and divorce becomes essential. We don't just work on the relationship ending in isolation—we help you navigate all the layers of what you're carrying. We'll address the anxiety, the burnout, the overthinking, the decision paralysis, and help you pause to check in with yourself and what you’re needing, while also building the skills to regulate your nervous system and function even when everything feels like too much.
We also offer couples therapy in New York for partners trying to navigate infidelity, communication breakdowns, or conflict patterns that are threatening the relationship. If you're trying to figure out whether your marriage is worth saving or if it's time to move toward divorce, couples therapy can help you get clarity and make an informed decision.